No I'm Ducky

Ok Lynlee is growing up so so so fast.  Can you believe she is already 3 years old!!! She is incredibly excited about her new baby sister that is on her way.  She will kiss and hug my tummy and call her by the name we have chosen (which I will announce the day she is born because it may change) :) She is a talker and LOVES to dance around the house and sing and make up her own songs :) Loves singing her alphabet, I am a Child of God, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and her made up princess songs.  She loves learning new things and reading her books.  Her imagination is really fun to watch and listen too.  Even though she is really small (bottom of the charts in height and weight; her head is normal though) she startles people with how smart she is :)  She does have quite the little attitude though a little diva that wants her way all the time.  I suppose that is just the age though ha.

So during her nighttime routine she all of the sudden started calling herself Ducky and I wanted to document it.  I wish I had a recording, but for some reason if you call her Ducky she will go to the bathroom, brush her teeth, chose out her books to read and what songs to sing her to sleep.  She has always liked ducks maybe that is where it comes from.   We did get a book from the library called Duck to the rescue maybe that is where she gets it, but whatever it is, it is so funny that she loves being called ducky haha :)

Another little funny thing that she says is when we are driving the car, just her and I, she will make sure to tell me that daddy is not in the car and it is just her.  She does this during the day when we are playing.  She will tell me she is playing with me because daddy isn't home....What!?!?! I guess she really is a daddy's girl haha :) So the days that Matt works his other job or has other obligations I feel bad that she doesn't get her daddy time.  She loves him so much.

Here are some current pictures of our Lynlee.  I wish I could find a picture, but her hair is getting thicker yay :)

Doing her puzzle and singing her alphabet

Looking really cute.

It's a.......

Ok before I tell you the gender of the newest member of our family.  I am just going to brag a little bit about how AMAZING MountainStar Imaging Center is.  I have been to their clinic twice and the service given by the employees has been AMAZING.  Today the nurse couldn't stop talking about how great and hard working the OBGYN I chose is either.  It really made me feel comfortable with my decision with choosing him. I say this because with our insurance he wasn't the cheapest to go to (not most expensive one either), but the best location.

So Lynlee and Matt were able to join me on this visit. Yay :)  Matt I think really enjoyed how thorough the tech was in explaining everything she was looking for and so did I.  With Lynlee they didn't really talk to much about every specific thing.  Everything this lady looked at she gave a reasoning as to why she looks for it and then tied it to other things.  I really felt a lot more educated coming out of this. Anyways, Lynlee naturally didn't have a super long attention span for this, but the room was prepared with a toy to keep her entertained.  She really liked seeing the pictures on the big screen.  Here is my favorite picture we got.

Isn't it fun that she was able to get a high five picture.

This is another really cute picture

Hugging the placenta the entire time.  So cute.

So we went through everything and the nurse pointed out that I have a tilted Uterus and the baby was really liking pushing further back.  With that going against in seeing the gender the baby was also in a breech position so the bum and legs weren't in the best position.  Well with getting the babe to move and kick we were able to get it to show us.  And it is a girl.  Lynlee I am pretty sure has a sixth sense because every time we asked her what the baby is it was always a baby sister so we are really excited that she will get her little best friend.  For me I am slightly bummed, but still really excited :)  I was looking forward to having a boy.  You can never be really sure until the little one arrives though ;)  We are excited for this babe to join our family in January :)

Exciting news!!!!!

For those of you who do not know Matt and I found out we are expecting a new addition to the family in January back in May.  We announced after returning from Hawaii mid June

Lynlee is convinced that she will have a sister.  Every time you ask her no matter how many ways you word it she gets serious and says "I just want a girl"

After trying for over a year to conceive we are more than excited.  I have learned a lot about myself, changed the way I see things and felt like that whole process is something I needed.  I am growing up haha and I am 27.  That is one of the things that I have come to realize that I am not one of those LDS girls that get married young and have kids every 18 months to 2 years apart.  Every family is different and it is okay to have children further apart and it doesn't matter your age.

We are also really excited about this timing because this little one will have a cousin close on both sides.  Matt's brother is expecting a little boy in November and my brother is expecting their third the end of February :)  Maybe that is why it took us this long.  Isn't this a great reminder that everything happens on the Lord's timetable :)

Morning sickness was terrible for about 5 weeks (about Memorial Day weekend to the last week of June).  I am not as nauseated as I was the past couple of days and I am so incredibly happy about it.  I feel like Lynlee is getting her Mom back :) and everyone else doesn't have to deal with a really grumpy Nikki.

I am really happy about the due date that it is after the holidays.  If this little one is anything like Lynlee it will come a week late ha.

The past few months

So I am terrible at updating this, but ever since moving back to Utah and seeing family sometimes I feel like I see everyone that reads this blog regularly and they know what is going on in our lives.  Then I thought maybe there are a few old friends that follow and I feel guilty for not keeping them in the loop.

Well, since I last posted we went on our first family vacation just the three of us.  We chose go to Las Vegas because we had bought this time share thing back in January 2013 that we needed to use.  So lodging had already been paid for months before.  I have never been to the Strip and wanted that one time experience and i got it and I don't know if I will see as much as we did this trip.  We didn't stay on the strip which I think was perfect for us.  One of my favorite parts of the trip was taking Lynlee to the swimming pool. She LOVED it.  The water was perfect and I just loved every minute of it :) I love how Lynlee is the center of my world. Everything I did was to create a positive experience for her.  Her favorite park I think would be when we went to Circus Circus and she got to play the arcade games.  It was such a fun family trip and we even got to see Matt's mission companion Jed and his family.  We are thankful they watched miss Lynlee while we had to go to a presentation :( We then went to the awesome discover kids museum there and dinner at retainer park.

What else big happened haha (my memory is definitely staring to go).  There were birthdays we celebrated of her cousin Makenzie, Grandma Mendenhall, Grandpa Mendenhall and called Grandma Shelton on her birthday.  There was conference Lynlees half birthday.  The crazy spring weather of Utah that we are adjusting too.  I love it though I have missed this time of year.  There was Easter where Lynlee got a cute new dress and went on to many egg hunts (I think there were four).  She LOVED all the candy she got though.  We tried to teach her the meaning of the Holiday.  She does recognize Jesus in her prayers now though so I see that as a success :) We went to my extended family gathering at West Mountain.  I have not been there since before I was married.

Things about Lynlee.  She is incredibly smart I just can't believe that I can hold a conversation with her.  She has recently started saying her very own prayers. She can count pretty high, but with the numbers in order she counts to 11. She can sing the alphabet song mainly with the show Super Why.  She understands what her shows are saying to her.  She has started playing with the neighbor girl more and every time she sees there house she asks if she can play.  She loves playing with her friend Aidalyn.  We took them to the zoo the other day and they were really cute together.

I love this video.

Lynlee repeats everything we say Yay!!! :) She is slowly getting more hair I hope by her third birthday she we have more.  She loves digging in the dirt and riding her bike.  Loves being outside in general.  Anytime we get in the car she asks if we can go to a park.  She is still our petite little girl I weigh every once in a while to see what our scale says and currently she is about 25 lbs and about 33 inches.  She it into the stage of owies and asks for band-aid's anytime she falls, but most of the time we can kiss them better and she is happy again.

Matt has had some changes in management at work that he is handling with the increased work load and such.  He is enjoying working out.  I am going to brag about him for a second though.  So we decided to do this 21 day fix program to kick our butts into Hawaii shape.  Matt has lost 3 inches in his waste and has gone down two holes in his belt.  He says he has more energy and really enjoys working out. This make my heart happy really :)

For myself I am hoping to change some things. I have made it a new goal to not complain publicly about my feelings.  I will vent to Matt and other sources such as family and friends.  With this new goal and eating more healthy and exercising everyday I am more happy.  I don't get down as much.  We are getting so excited for our vacation just the two of us in Hawaii :)

Hindsight is 20/20

The saying of "hindsight is 20/20" is very well used and so very true.  I was thinking about this yesterday about all of the different choices I have made and got caught in the trap of "what if..."

I think the lessons I have learned these past couple of years have some of the biggest in my life.  I have grown as a person and learned to love and try new and different things.   I never would have done some of the stuff without my loving husband.  It is just funny to think that you can look back and see exactly what could have happened if the other choice was made.  Such as maybe you wouldn't have offended someone and your relationship with them wouldn't have suffered.

I write this post  because I keep trying to come to terms with the fact that we struggle with fertility and every time I hear how someone is expecting a new addition to their family I get bummed out all over again and   don't congratulate them and I automatically think negative thoughts.  Mostly about "Why can't I have my children two years apart like I wanted." "Why are they so lucky to have kids close together" "Lynlee is never going to have a close sibling (this one makes me really sad actually)" This fits in with this saying in that if I am genuinely excited for them will my circumstances be different.  Will I just find the peace I need to be the best mother I can to my little girl and potentially only child? Will I forget about having other children and get a surprise pregnancy?

I hate that I get stuck in the rut and I don't think Matt truly understands what I am going through.  I know there are other people out there that struggle with this and someday I will talk with them I am sure.  I just don't want to live in my mind of negativity every time I hear someone else's exciting news. I want to be able to look back and be excited for them and their life journey. I need to accept that maybe we do have a miracle baby and my life is not following the direction I wanted too.  For heaven sake I never wanted to live in a foreign country and I have and I look back and see what an amazing moment that was in my life.  My testimony grew in the gospel probably the most during that time.  I lived far away from my immediate family and I never wanted to do that and I met some amazing people because of it.

I want my hindsight to be filled with more positive and not negative thoughts.  So here is to a brighter future that will bring my little family closer together.  I am excited for the fact that we are going on our first family vacation soon and I don't have to worry about a young newborn or being really pregnant and uncomfortable.  I get to probably live more of my dream out of going on more vacations and seeing the world more because I don't have lot's kids.  I know there are different ways to look at this and the joys of lots of children,but this is how I get to look at it positively.

Sorry for this vent/whiny post, but it has been on my mind lately and I want it out of me.

I just read this blog post and it fits perfectly.
http://natashametzler.com/2014/02/17/but-why-does-she-get-babies/

Lynlee Paints

So I will admit to you all right here and now.  I can be a really lazy mom.  There I said it :)  With that out there I have waited until my child was almost 2 and a half to introduce her to painting because 1. It is a messy ordeal and 2. I have had very little patience with her me myself stage.  So one day I whipped out the paints I had bought her for Christmas.  

She was sooooo excited.  I threw on her little apron and of course I had to wear one too.  We set down and began to paint.  She LOVED it and everyday since then she likes to ask me about painting again most of the time I am able to show her the video of her painting the first time and that satisfies her need.  I am not a very creative person hence why my degree is in accounting haha.  Anyways, I have a feeling I will need overcome my dislike for mess and try to help form a healthy creative side for Miss Lynlee.

She really does love it.  She put so much concentration into trying to do it.  I hope that I can keep up with her energy of wanting to try new things. Love this girl so miuch.

February 2014

Two months have past this year all ready, oh my goodness!!  Nothing really exciting happened.

Valentines was fun.  Lynlee and I woke up to some flowers, love notes, a chocolate treat, sparkling cider and she got a sock monkey. I made dinner and gave him some Milanos. We stayed in and watched a movie and just spent time with each other.  If you ask me that is the perfect way to spend Valentines day.  We don't need something fancy just each other :) I didn't take pictures because I forgot.

I attempted to take a picture to send out, but this was her mood so I didn't send anything out.

Matt sang in church and I played the piano (really overcoming my fear of playing in front of people).  It went really well.  We chose the song weeks before and it correlated perfectly with the talks given that day.  Inspiration in choosing that song I think :) We are really liking our ward.

Lynlee and I went on some walks with our friends Liz and Lilly and Leah and Aidalyn.  We have loved our little get-together's.  We were even able to go on some walks.  We are getting really excited for Spring to come. We are hoping since March came in like a lion that it will go out like a lamb haha.

We went to the zoo on Presidents Day

On this visit Lynlee being her I want to do things myself phase she tripped and face planted it into a the fence by the elephants and we left with a bruised cheek.  She had a blast and we got to hear the tiger roar and everything. 

Mitch and Lindsey came down from Idaho.  We celebrated Miss Alex's birthday and the next day we went up to PCMR and hit the slopes.  I had a blast.  It was fun to go with Mitch, Lindsey and Bryan.  Matt had gone on a business trip so I decided that we would spend the night at my parents place.  The next day took the girls ice skating for the first time.  Lynlee loved it 

 We took a video, but those take forever to load.

We went on a date to see "Walk off the earth" with "Parachute."  It was so much fun to get out and do something fun.  We met up with Matt's sister Jenny and husband Matthew at Jason's Deli.  I would upload a video, but once again that takes forever, but they are pretty awesome. 

Lynlee started doing better with potty training, but still doesn't want poop consistently.  The pediatrician warned us that would be really hard for her to master because of her constipation days.  She is getting better though.  She is eating more than she used too.  She is getting to be really smart.  She counts to 11 and knows her letter really well.  If you show her a letter she will tell you what it is.  She LOVES reading books like most toddlers.  She LOVES taking showers not baths, but that is ok with me.  Loves playing with friends.  I can't believe I have to start thinking about joy school and preschool here really soon.  My baby girl is growing up so fast.  

January 2014

Welcome to the new year.  The first month was a pretty great month.  It started out with some family time fixing up a leaking issue that we will finish addressing come spring.   I played music in a wedding which I was stressed out about for about the first two weeks.  They loved what I played and it really made me feel awesome.  We are loving our new ward.  I got a new calling I am now Relief Society secretary and Relief Society pianst and a member of the compassionate service committee.  I have never felt like I truly belonged in a ward until this one.  I know it is silly that holding a calling could create a sense of fellowship, but it does for me.  In our last ward it took them six months to place us in a calling and our ward now is just as big and just as transitory so I just feel that we haven't been overlooked.

Lynlee and I started doing a play group with two ladies in our ward.  It has been nice to get to know these ladies and their little girls.  The youngest is 8 months, the next is 16 months and then miss Lynlee (28 months).  This time with these little girls is teaching her so much and I am grateful for it :)

Matt and I were able to get out and go snowboarding.  I truly forgot how much I love this sport.  I love just getting out on the mountain and being in nature.  Maybe that should be a goal for this summer/spring/fall.  Get out and hike and camp more in nature.  It is such a stress relief.

We spent lots of time with both sides of our family.  My cousin just got a job in North Phoenix literally down the road from where we lived.  I reminisced a little on how I missed that specific area and even thought of how fun it would be to move back and then laughed at myself because I remembered how much I dislike the summers there haha.

We went to the temple with the Shelton clan and did family names.  It was so fun to be part of the experience and to be able to share it with some of Matt's siblings.  In the past six months or so I have changed dramatically as a person.  I don't know what has changed, but I finally feel like I am in a place where I can be myself again and not battle with the thought of "keeping up with the Jones" or the new disease of pinterestite haha (not a word, but definitely a condition in my book).  I guess I came to realize that I don't need to be perfect haha (this will constantly be a battle).

Lynlee is speaking in full sentences which sometimes takes me off guard.  An example is that she will want to go somewhere, but she will turn to you and say "I am going..mumbled words(sometimes you understand a word like potty)....I will be right back" or "No way mom I don't want" or "Need my coat it is cooooolllllld (said in a shivery voice) outside." She is growing up soooo fast.

Also this past month I have come to the realization (thanks partly to being in this ward) that it is OK to have your children more than two years apart.  There are so many families that there kids and three years apart or they have three year olds and not a second child.  I really needed that conformation because conceiving another child for us has been not easy.

Matt is really enjoying his job. I am really liking the people he works with even though only one is an active member of the LDS church (there is only one that is inactive) in an office of about fifteen people.  Funny that he gets a job in Utah and there were less members in his office than his first job in Wilcox, AZ.

January has truly been a new beginning for our family.  I have set some personal resolutions and so far I am keeping to them.  Lets see what February has to offer :)